This will probably go against everything you’ve learnt, since we where kid’s we’ve been taught “never give up!” BUT the verdict is in… 85% of getting what you want is knowing what to give up to get it. If you want something, you have to let something go!
On one hand, it makes perfect sense. If you’re going to step into another room, you have to leave the room you’re standing in right now. Intellectually we’re all on board with this.
The problem is emotional. Letting go means having to cope with loss. We don’t want loss. We avoid it. That’s why giving up a bad relationship sometimes appears worse than staying in it. What we know is perceived as the lesser of two evils, even if it really isn’t.
Even letting go can be a challenge. Whatever it is you’re holding on to, you will resist letting it go even though you know it’s for your higher good.
So how do you let go of something that isn’t serving you right now?
Pick up a small stone that you can easily fit in the palm of your hand. Hold the stone with your palm facing down and squeeze it as hard as you can. Imagine that the stone you’re squeezing is a self-limiting belief or something you’ve been clinging on to like a relationship that has reached its expiration date, a dead-end but comfortable job or a self-defeating habit.
Your muscles will burn when you squeeze hard. Imagine this tension as the constriction you feel when you hold on. This clenching creates constriction, not a light, expansive, happy feeling. Dead relationships are a drain. Boring jobs aren’t fulfilling. Bad habits are a big health burden.
Squeeze harder. After a few seconds or minutes of squeezing the stone as hard as you can, you can’t squeeze as hard anymore but you can still maintain a strong grip. Think again about what you want to release so you can move on: a job… a relationship… some possessions…
After a while, to some extent you forget that you’re still clenching the stone. The feeling may be uncomfortable but it has become familiar. Your hand clenches the object on its own now, without any conscious decision on your part. The muscles have “frozen” into a habitual position. That’s what it is like to hold on to self-limiting beliefs, job, stuff, bad relationships and bad habits. You’re so used to them, you can’t imagine life without them.
But… they hold you back. Even if you hold the stone very lightly, your hand is useless for anything else. It’s impossible to hold anything else when you’re holding this! It’s impossible to create the life you want when one hand is busy holding on to the past!
Now rotate your hand so that the palm is facing upward. Roll the stone around in your hand. Notice that it’s not attached to your hand any more than your hand is attached to it. The connection comes from your choice to hang on to it.
Turn your palm face down and make the decision to drop the stone. Open your hand. Release the stone. Watch it drop from your hand. For a moment, your hand will retain the memory of the stone; but soon the sensation is gone. It is no longer attached to you in any way.
That was easy, right? Now imagine yourself letting go of your job, relationship, possessions, self-limiting beliefs, etc.
Hold the stone in your hand again, and assign the thing you want to release to that stone. Squeeze the stone as hard as you can. You’ve been hanging on to it for so long with this kind of effort! Does this squeezing do you any good? Does it feel good? Does it make your hand useful, or does it render your hand useless?
If you feel a strong sense of irritation or anger because you’ve been holding on too long, you’re ready to let it go. Squeeze it as hard as you can one last time and focus on the sensation of squeezing. Remind yourself that this effort is NOT worth it!
Then simply decide to drop it and let the stone go. Focus on the relief that letting go causes. Repeat this process as often as needed until you feel free. Focus on the unpleasant sensation of holding on to the stone and the resulting freedom of release.
So now that you’ve practiced, apply the technique to real-life situations:
If you want more money, you have to let go of something: Your current job. Many people won’t chase a new employment opportunity because their limiting belief is either “This is all I know” or “My loyalty is with my employer.” The second belief is a noble trait, but ultimately your loyalty should be with yourself. Work for your dreams, not someone else’s dream! A great employer with an entrepreneurial spirit will gladly support you in your passion for your dreams!
Want more money to buy new things, give up Possessions: Sell some things on Ebay! If you want something new, make a deal with yourself to get rid of at least two old things that you are hanging on to “just because.” You can make quite a hefty sum of money on Ebay selling unwanted items! I made $3,000 in the past 4 weeks just selling stuff on eBay!
If you want more time, give up some non-essential time-sucking activities: Facebook, texting (a phone call is often much quicker), TV watching, clubs and other social obligations that give you no joy.
If you want a new relationship or if you want to rekindle the flame in your existing relationship: Let go of ALL self-limiting beliefs like “I’m not worthy of love”. Let go of ALL of your willingness to settle for someone who does not respect your boundaries.
If you want better health, let go of unhealthy eating, exercise and lifestyle habits: Like smoking, drinking or being sedentary. Think about the purpose of your unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits. What is the purpose of your habits? How do they enrich your life? How do they make things better? Can these habits be substituted with healthy habits that serve you?
Today let’s make a commitment to drop the rock. Ask yourself, is what I’m holding on serving me a purpose anymore? or is it just an old protection mechanism? Trust yourself and say “letting go feels great!”